The Theatre Bar Tenerife designates itself as a "cabaret bar" and is an extremely family-friendly bar situated in the "Garden City" area of San Eugenio.
Owned and run by husband and wife team, Jackie and Dennis since 2009, it is open all day, seven days a week.
During the day, the bar offers a food service. Although there doesn't seem to be a breakfast option on the menu, there is a comprehensive selection of sandwiches, salads and "lite bites", plus, if your tum is rumbling a bit more fiercely, main meals. These stick to British staples, such as burger and chips, gammon, chips and peas, or sausage and mash. There is also a kids' menu.
For a price of (currently) 5 euros, the bar will provide a packed lunch, ideal for taking on trips, to water parks, or even to the airport. Now, that's a good idea!
For those of you visiting during the day for a drink or a bite to eat, there is a large, two metre screen, plus five other TVs displaying all the major sporting events, with the accent on live Premier League matches.
The Theatre Cabaret Bar appears to be a fan of the soccer team West Ham and makes a point of showing all their games. Other fans of the team are, therefore, very welcome in the bar.
In the evening, the bar presents a full schedule of entertainment every night.
In charge of all this, as host and compere, is the outrageously funny drag act, Roxy Risque. A very tall drag act, too, who, in her impressive stage outfits, cuts an imposing figure.
For many years, Roxy was associated with the Blaydon Races Bar in the Patch area and also did time on the Tenerife cabaret circuit. Now she has brought to the Theatre Bar her particular brand of quick-fire humour and audience put-downs, in true drag act style. She sings, too, usually songs from the shows and others designed to get everyone going.
She's very entertaining and guaranteed to give you a superb, laughter-filled evening.
As if that wasn't enough, the venue presents quality cabaret acts throughout the week, but not, apparently, every night. I imagine that this can vary from week to week, so, if you are staying in the vicinity of the bar, it's best to check the display boards outside to keep up to date.
Holidaymakers of all ages have been known to spend every night of their holiday in this bar. So, it must be good!
It is situated on the main Avenida de España running through San Eugenio. From the private hospital, carry on along that stretch of road and you'll come to it within a few minutes.
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